Bill and Judy came back from Pennsylvania on Wednesday with a U-Haul truck. They gave Jesse all Leslie's books and her paint set with 3 pads of real watercolour paper.

Bill told me," We came here for her sake.Now that she is gone..., she would like you to have them."

Father and I helped the Burkes' to load the U-Haul. At noon-time, mother brought down some ham sandwiches and coffee for us to fill our stomachs. At last, the truck was full, but no one knew how to bide a farewell to all.

Bill said," If there is anything that we have left that you want, please help yourself."

I told him that I would like to have some of the lumber on the back porch and he nodded his head gently to show that he allowed me to have it. He added that he could not seemed to give up P.T. even though he meant to give it to me.

Trying to convinced him that he could keep P.T. without feeling so apologetic, I replied cheerfully." It's OK. Leslie would SURE like you to keep him anyway."

Before the Burkes entered their truck, I handed them a letter.


Dear Mr Burke and Mrs Burke,

Now that Leslie, the queen of Terabithia has gone to rest in peace, I shall have to find a new queen. Of course, that person is none other than May Belle. With the help from my family and Mrs Myers, I managed to get over the loss a loved one. Mrs Myers gave me her sincere sympathy, sharing her life experiences with me as well.



"When my husband died, people kept telling me not to cry, kept trying to make me forget. But I didn't want to forget." she said. "...If it's hard for me, how much harder it must be for you."



I was touched and learnt that I have to learn how to live without Leslie. I understood that when our loved ones died, instead of forgetting them, we just learn how to live without them. Knowing that May Belle have always wanted to be a queen, I decided to fulfill her wish. I put flowers in her hair and led her across the bridge, making her the new queen of Terabithia.



"There is a rumour going around that the beautiful girl arriving today might be the queen they have been waiting for," was all I whispered to her ears, seeing her face light up.

My parents and I went to the Burke's house to pay our respects. Everyone in the house were weeping and I knew that they must be very upset over the loss of a loved one, Leslie. I realised that I had been living in self denial. I kept on lying to myself that Leslie is not dead so that I did not have to face the harse fact. It was all because I really fear losing a very good friend. It was not until the moment when someone said Leslie was cremated that I found light at the end of the tunnel. I decided not to lie to myself anymore. I have at long last understood and accepted the fact that Leslie is dead and will no longer come back to me. She has been turned to ashes and I can never ever see her again. Feeling grieved, I cried my heart out. My father comforted me and held me in his arms, like how he would hold Joyce Ann. This was very rare for he did not usually shower me with much love and concern. I will never forget Leslie in my entire life for my memories of her are very precious.

As I entered my home, I had noticed that my father's pick-up was parked outside when he should still be in Washington. However, I had not taken it in until I was all the way into the kitchen. I found my whole family seated at the dining table and on the couch staring at me, neither eating nor watching television. All of a sudden, my mother started crying and my father put his arm awkwardly around her. May Belle then said, "I tolja he just gone off somewhere." She said it quietly and stubbornly as though she had repeated often and no one had believed her.

Then, Brenda told me the weirdest and most nonsensical thing I had ever heard in my life in her pouting voice-that Leslie was dead. My father then explained to me that the rope we had been swinging on broke as Leslie was trying to enter Terabithia, causing Leslie to suffer a concussion as she fell and hit her head. Thus, she drowned in the creek. As nonsensical it may seem, I admit that I was quite shocked at the news and told my family that it could not be true. My father apologised to me but I looked straight at May Belle who was the only one looking up that Leslie was not dead and ran out of the house. My father chased after me in his pick-up and carried me home. I went straight to my bed and must have fallen asleep.

In the middle of the night, I jerked awake. I thought about the news I had just received and my reaction to it. I felt that what I did after receiving the news was quite silly. I should not have overreacted. Leslie could not die any more than I myself could die. If I went to look for Leslie at her house, she would answer the door with Prince Terrien beside her and they would enter Terabithia at night for the first time. I thought of how I would apologise about not inviting her to Washington this morning and how she would answer. Strange enough, my stomach could not help feeling cold. Maybe it is just my imagination but I had better not think about Leslie for now and go down to apologise to her first thing in the morning.

Today, as I milked and fed Miss Bessie, I was still worrying about how to tell Leslie that I did not want to go to Terabithia due to the dangerous currents in the creek. Suddenly, May Belle came to look for me, informing me that Ms Edmunds had called. I went into the house to answer my call. Ms Edmunds wanted to invite me to view the National Gallery in Washington with her. I went to my mother's room and asked her for 'permission' when she was just half-awake as I knew that she would refuse to let me go if she woke up and considered the matter. True enough, she mumbled in 'agreement'. I got dressed and went to wait for Ms Edmunds to arrive in her car.
I was afraid to look back at my house even after she had driven off lest I saw my mother screaming for me. It was not until the car was past Millsburg that it occured to me that I should have asked Ms Edmunds if Leslie could accompany us on this trip. Then again, I simply could not suppress the secret pleasure at being alone in this small cosy car with my teacher.

Both of us had a wonderful day viewing the gallery. However when it was lunchtime, I was horrified to realise that I had no money with me to purchase a meal. Ms Edmunds told me firmly that she was going to pay for my meal as she had invited me out in the first place. I found myself getting a three-dollar meal which was far more than I had meant for her to spend on me.
Tomorrow, I would check out with Leslie how I should have handled things. After lunch, we went to the Smithsonian to see the dinosaurs and the Indians. When we went outdoors, we realised that the rain had stopped and Ms Edmunds marvelled that it was a miracle. All the way home, I had a pleasant time listening to the various funny stories my teacher had to tell.

When I reached home, I thanked Ms Edmunds for the wonderful day and got out of the car. I could hardly wait to share the day's events with Leslie.

Christmas is round the corner. My elder sisters are racking their brains for the perfect present for their boyfriends at high school. There have beens fights between them at home as usual.



Like them, I do not know what I should get for my good friend, Leslie. Having been her friend for quite some time, I know that she is not one, who expects something expensive. However, I strongly feel the need to give her a present as much as how I feel the need to eat when I am famished. After stealing paper and crayons from school, I tried to make a book of drawings for her. At the end of the day, all the pieces of paper with my uncompleted drawings on it were deemed by me of poor quality and not good enough to satisfy. Thus, they landed into the stove for burning up as I tossed them inside.



Oh dear. Christmas is nearing. But I have not gotten anything for Leslie. Furthermore, May Belle has her eyes set on a Barbie doll. I understand that she feels left out whenever Leslie is around but I cannot possibly entertain her all the time. I know that May Belle needs something special and so, I promised to get her what she wants. This is a way of making up to her.



I thought of getting her a tiny Japanese television set. No matter how hard I thought, I simply cannot figure out why Leslie's family decided not to buy a television despite being able to afford it. If she had one at home, our classmates in schools will stop teasing her about not having a television. But I cannot afford it.



Finally, I decided to get her a dog today. It all began when I saw a sign, which read, "Puppies Free" while sitting in the school bus. The dog is brown and black and has greatbrown eyes. After I had stolen a ribbon from Brenda's drawer, I tied it around the dog's neck and dashed to the creek bed. When Leslie saw my present, her eyes shone with delightment. I am so glad that she likes my present.

It is Easter and my family are going to the church like what we always do annually. Leslie seemed excited at the idea of going to church and asked to join us. My mother only agrees with one condition-that Leslie dresses decently. I am sure that Leslie will. On that day, she wore a navy-blue jumper over a blouse with tiny old-fashioned-looking flowers. She looked so different from how she dresses in school, where she will wear sneakers like the other students in school. We sang songs in church and my mind was floating away though I stood up and down with others in unison. I was not thinking and I was very glad that I was currently free from tiring household chores. I also found out that Leslie does not believe in the bible. She thought that if she didn't have to believe it, she would find it beautiful. I am appalled for never have I seen anyone not believing in the bible. May Belle even said " If you don't believe in the bible, God will damn you to hell when you die."

Three days ago, my father brought May Belle a package of Twinkies from Washington as a treat. May Belle was delighted as Twinkies, her favourite snack, could only be bought from Washington. Unfortunately, she shouted loudly to her friend about the treat in her lunch box as soon as she got on the school bus . This announcement was clearly audible to everyone on board the school bus. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Janice Avery, a huge-sized seventh grade school bully, perk up at the news. Janice would go around harassing the second graders at the playground during recess time by disrupting their fun with her two equally big-sized friends, Wilma Dean and Bobby Sue Henshaw. The trio even went to the extent of demanding the little girls' milk money before allowing them to use the bathroom.
I immediately told May Belle not to mention her Twinkies. She knew about Janice Avery's reactions to such matters ver well herself. However, she interpreted my advice as a sign of jealously that I did not get any Twinkies. I shrugged at Leslie who also knew about this matter to signal her as my witness that I had warned my sister beforehand but she did not heed it. Leslie nodded at me.
Therefore, both of us were not surprised when May Belle came crying to us at recess with the news that Janice stole her precious Twinkies. May Belle's heart was set on revenge and demanded that I, as her elder brother, fight Janice Avery for her. I was terrified at the thought of having to battle the humongous bully and tried to persuade May Belle that fighting would not help. Leslie also tried to comfort May Belle but to no avail. May Belle assumed in disappointment that her elder brother was just a coward after all and burst into tears. I was at my wit's end and thought I would really have to fight Janice when Leslie came to my rescue. She told May Belle about the consequences I would suffer from fight Janice(being expelled from school) and assured her that we would think of a better plan for revenge. May Belle was reassured and made us promise that we would take revenge on Janice.
After school, Leslie and I went into Terabithia to plan our revenge on Janice. We finally decided on writing a love letter to Janice, pretending that it was from Willard Hughes, the school hunk. The next day, we sneaked into Janice's class before lessons began and I stuffed the note under Janice's table. Janice fell deeply for our trick and her face was all pink and prideful during recess.
After school, Janice did not take the school bus home but waited for Willard to walk her home as the note had mentioned. Her friends spread the news of the love letter to all the seventh graders on the bus and they all launched into a heated discussion whether the news was true.
The next day, Janice stormed on the bus with a face as black as a thundercloud. Her eyes dared anyone to say a word. Everyone on the bus guessed what had happened the day before at once. I nudged May Belle to tell her that she had been avenged and she was proud and pleased that we had kept our promise and carried out the plan very well.

After 'getting rid' of the irritating May Belle, by giving her some of Leslie's new paper dolls, Leslie and I sprinted over the empty field behind the old Perkins place and down to the dry creek bed which separated the farmland from the woods. We found an old but sturdy long rope hanging from an old crab apple tree.

At that instant, Leslie suggested, "We need a secret place, or perhaps a secret country, just for us only and we could be rulers too!"

"Ok, but where could we have it?" I asked curiously.

She pointed at the woods, and replied that it could be in the woods, where nobody would visit and mess it. Although I did not like the dark parts of the wood, I did not voice out my fear ( I did not want Leslie to know how timid I am and also did not to hurt her feelings). Leslie was in high spirits as we took turns to swing on the rope and ambled a few yards into the woods beyond the creek bed. Looking at her wide grin that could not possibly be wiped away, I was relieved that she has chosen this spot and not further into the woods.

Leslie named our secret land 'Terabithia'. Helping me to speak and behave like a king and know how things worked in a magical kingdom, Leslie loaned me all of her books about 'Narnia'. Being an articulate person, Leslie is eloquent and could speak in a poetic language of a queen. However, I could not even master English properly so it would be a difficult time for me to learn to speak in poetic language. She believed that one day I would be able to draw Terabithia, although I found it unbelievable.

In Terabithia, I believe in Leslie as she could see magic in the mundane and in the shadowy light of the stronghold, everything seemd possible. Also, there was no enemy because even Gary Fulcher, Wanda Kay Moore and Janice Avery could not defeat us, like they did in their daily lives. Moreover, Leslie always spun interesting and imaginative tales and told me. After spending sometime in Terabithia, I felt that this place was not haunted but the stillness was like the chords hummed down to silence after Miss Edmunds had finished a song. Leslie told me that even rulers of Terabithia came into it only at times of greatest sorrow or joy as we must keep it sacred so as not to disturb the Spirits.

To me, whenever I just walked down the hill towards the woods, I felt something warm and liquid stealing through ny body. The closer I came to the dry creek bed and the crab apple tree rope, the more I could feel the beating of my heart. A kind of wild exhilaration zoomed through my body as I grabbed the end of the rope and swung out towards the other bank, landing gently on my feet. I felt taller, stronger and wiser in Terabithia.

Leslie's favourite place was the pine forest beside the castle stronghold. The trees grew so thick at the top that the sunshine was veiled and as no low bush or grass could grow in that dim light, the ground was carpeted eith golden needles. To be truthful, I have not found my favourite place yet. I really hope to find it as time passes by...



*Identical Topic: Leslie's creation of a newspaper article 'The Birth of Terabithia'.*

Despite being a little mad with Leslie for beating me in the race initially, I have finally decided not to be so calculating and let bygones by bygones. Besides, it is my fault that I didn't work hard enough or was not good enough to win the race that time so I really shouldn't have blamed her.



During music lesson today, my classmates and I were singing a song as usual. Of course, I had a whale of time. Then, for a few seconds, Leslie's eyes and mine met across the classroom amidst our cheerful and light-hearted singing. She smiled at me. Well, I felt that she sincerely wanted to befriend me and so I thought that I should return her smile too to show my acceptance.



She even sat beside me during our bus ride back home and both of us chatted about a lot of things, which I hardly did with others. For instance, she talked about her old suburban school, with a lovely music room but not even with a single teacher, who was as lovely as Ms Edmunds. She also mentioned that she is pretty good in gymnastics. A pity that our school did not not have a gym. She sort of hated it here. Perhaps she is still not used to living in the country-side having once been a city dweller.



I find it strange for a girl, like her, who have lots of friends in her previous school, to transfer here. She then told me that it is all about her parents reassessing their value structure as they were once too crazy over success that they forgot many other important things in life.

They are going to ponder on this issue in an old farm they bought here. For a moment, I was dumb founded for never in my life have I heard of people 'degrading' their house and environment when they have the wealth. They could lead a much more better life in the city. Since I am a poor person, I cannot put myself in Leslie's or her parents' shoes to understand what they are thinking.



Jess, note to self. Do not talk to Leslie about money issues again. I have never heard anyone say money is not the problem.

Generally, I find her very interesting. She seems to have plenty of life experiences to talk about. Or is it that she is much more well read than I am or that we both lead very different lives?
Anyway, it is fun to talk to her. Just thinking that I have found such a friend makes me feel that lady luck is favouring me. :D

Today, we had the race which was first mentioned in my first post. During lessons before recess, Gary Fulcher, a bully in my class, asked me if I was racing today as I was giving out the arithmetic books. I nodded my head and he smirked, a thought that he can beat me in the race hovering delightfully above his head. However, I was undeterred and confident in beating him. I knew I was better than I had been last spring. I wanted to give Gary Fulcher a surprise during recess. I really detest him as he always bullies me into silence during class. To make matters worse, he sits right behind me in class! It was as though I had swallowed grasshoppers as I could hardly wait to spring the surprise.

Finally, after what seemed like eternity, the recess bell rang. All the boys sprang up from their seats and dashed towards the door in the twinkling of an eye. Unfortunately, Mrs Myers, our teacher held us back and let the girls off first. Fortunately, she did not hold us back for long and soon enough, the race was beginning. Gary Fulcher was acting like this year's Wayne Pettis who is a very bossy sixth grade boy. He was bossing everyone around. He excluded most of the first, second and third graders from the race. The poor little boys looked extremely disappointed but they had no choice but to back away obediently. I really feel sorry for them. They should be allowed to join in the race.

Then the greatest disappointment in my life occurred. I lost the race against Leslie, the new girl who joined our class today. It all happened when Leslie came to ask me if I was running, since I was the only one in the whole school she knew. I argued with Gary Fulcher to let both of the two boys who won in a tie to race in the finals. He spotted Leslie standing behind me and said that the next thing I would want is to let some girl run. Humiliated, I turned to Leslie and asked her if she wanted to run and she agreed. At the bang, I shot forward. It felt good-even the rough ground against the bottom of my worn sneakers. I could almost smell Gary Fulcher's surprise at my improvement! The crowd was also noisier than usual and I believe that they are also noticing. I wanted to look back to see where the others were but it would seem conceited to do so. I concentrated on the finishing line and it was nearing with every step. Then I felt someone moving up. I automatically pumped harder. Unfortunately, the person overtook me and crossed the finishing line as the winner. It was Leslie. My heart sank immediately. This was the day I was going to be champion-the best runner of the fourth and fifth grades, and I had not even won my heat. Everyone present was also stunned that a girl had won in the race.

Gary Fulcher immediately chased Leslie off. I told Gary to let Leslie run in the finals and walked away. If I had not, he would have punched me for I taunted him for being scared to let a girl race him. I was glad to have finally mustered up my courage and told him off. Maybe I can tell him to let the first, second and third grade boys race too next time. Leslie came to thank me later but I was still feeling sour about losing and ignored her throughout the rest of the day.

Personally, I feel that my mother is sometimes quite unreasonable and sexist(favours my sisters more). Last night, I was just trying to have a few private minutes(recalling Miss Edmunds and drawing), when my mother 'commanded' me to milk MissBessie. She could just asked either Brenda or Ellie, who were watching television and at the same time chit-chatting and laughing, but she did not want to bother them with the chores.

Even when dad returns home, I would still not have been shown much care. As everytime, when dad returns home, he will grab the little ones to his shoulders, or lean down and hug them. It seems to me that ever since the day I was born, I was already too big for this cuddling. Moreover, dad is always so weary and exhausted after work that he dos not do or speaks much but just sits in front of the television set(switched on) and dozes off.This happened even on weekend when he did not need to go for work.
(a picture of ME!)
This morning, I was almost late for the morning run as I was feeling extremely tired. Thus, I had to push myself harder by pretending that Wayne Pettis was just in front of me, making me wanting to keep up my pacing. When I was monolouging that I would get Wayne Pattis, a voice called out to me, "If you are so afraid of the cow, why don't you just climb the fence?"

I paused in mid-air, wondering if his/her comment was meant to be a joke or not and also who is he/she. Having a jaggedy brown hair cut close to 'its' face and wearing one of those blue undershirtlike tops with faded jeans cut off above the knees, I could not honestly tell 'its' gender. It was when she asked 'if we might as well be friends' that gave her out---males will never ever say 'friends', only females do. Then, we introduced ourselves---name and where we live. When I started to got bored, I decided to do my chores as there was no use to run---I would be asked instead of running 'privately'.

Personally, I feel that Leslie is friendly and outgoing, but too tomboy. Having a low self esteem , I am always feeling timid and shy to meet others. However ,I never show these emotions on my face as I know that there will be others who would tease me.





(a picture of Leslie)

Ms Edmunds, my music teacher, is the only adult, who truly knows how to appreciate my drawings. As for the other teachers, they do not admire my drawings at all. In fact, some of them even think that drawing is a mere waste of time, ability and paper.

However, this is not the most disappointing thing. The most discouraging thing is that even my father does not support the idea of me being an artist in future. Till this day, I can remember clearly that fours years ago, I gathered all my courage to tell my father about my ambition and after that, I got an unpleasant and hurting reply.

"What are they teaching in that damn school?" he asked. But the worst thing he said was, "Bunch of old ladies turning my only son into some kind of a - "

I think I get what he mean by that. He strongly objects to my ambition despite the fact that I love drawing more than anything else in the world and am talented in that area. To him, the idea of a male being an artist is repulsive. Being manly, he thinks that drawing is only suitable for girls, not boys and that boys should be more active by engaging themselves in sports like running. I swear that I will never forget these discouraging words he said to me in my entire life.

Thankfully, Ms Edmunds is always there for me. Whenever I feel like giving up on drawing, Ms Edmunds would always encourage me by telling me I am 'unusually talented' and even describes me as a 'neat kid'. Her words make me believe that my art piece is not the kind of best that is counted either at school or at home but a genuine kind of best. She is my driving force, that keeps me drawing till the end no matter how discouraged I feel.

To me, she is like a beautiful, wild creature, who had probably been caught in that dirty old cage of a schoolhouse by mistake and I pray sincerely with all my heart that she would never get loose and fly away.

During the summer holidays, I have been waking up early every morning to train for the race. This race is held every day during recess at my school, Lark Creek Elementary. Winning in this race is very important to me as I can have something to be proud of. I remember that one time last year when I had won. It was the 22nd of April, a drizzly Monday. For the rest of the day, I was hailed as 'the fastest kid in the third, fourth and fifth grades'. This changed my schoolmates' image of me as I had been that 'crazy little kid that draws all the time' since I was in first grade.

If I win the race again, May Belle would be extremely proud that her brother had won the race. She would tell our father and he would be so proud that he would forget how tired he was from work and wrestle with me like the way we used to.

I have also been helping my mother with the household chores as my father works from dawn to dusk at Washington. I helped to milk Miss Bessie, our cow, and pick beans from the bean patch. I would also help my mother to can them. Thus, I have been very busy throughout my holidays as my two older sisters, Ellie and Brenda, never lift a finger to help around the house and my two younger sisters, May Belle and Joyce Ann are too young to help. Sometimes I really wish that someone would help me lighten my load!